Choose Your Friends Wisely - Find Your Tribe

Thankful Thursday  Welcome along  Hi! How are you?

We hope you are amazing.  Hope you're having an amazing day.  So today’s topic is choose your tribe. Great! Choose your friends wisely.    

Sometimes you are hanging out with people who are not supporting you or moving you in a direction that’s right for you.

And sometimes we can be a bit different from lots of people in the way we see the world and what you think is important. Realising you are not going to be everybody's cup of tea is great lesson to learn.

It's so important that the people that you spend your time with are supporting you and nourishing you. Friends should be encouraging you along the journey and in the direction of your dreams, in the direction you want to go.

They don't necessarily have to want to go in that direction, but like at least they can cheer you on, right?

That's right  So, you know if you want to get fit, you need to be hanging out with other people that are interested in moving their bodies. They don’t have to be the same as you, you know.

Audrie: I’ve got a good friend and he's a body builder and goes in competitions and does crazy fitness things that, you know, are not my cup of tea at all.  But, we have an interest in being healthy and walking and, moving our bodies. Hey and you know Kristina, we are friends because of yoga, yoga started us, it started our friendship.

The thing thing about choosing your friends wisely is that you are the average of the top five people that you hang out with. If you start breaking down the attributes of those top five people, the average of those attributes will be actually you!

So, that even comes down to the amount of income that those five people earn.

So your friends are setting the ceiling for your potential.  So if you want to realise your full potential find some friends who are willing and able to leap on forward, who are striving to move on in their careers or with their earning capacity. Same works for your  fitness and health and wellbeing, the way you eat, the way you socialise.

Kristina: Like I had a friend who used to drink a lot. We had an intervention a couple of times before she went now, actually, maybe I do have a problem.  Then her tribe became the AA people.  Right, because she needed people who were going to support her in her decision to no longer be someone who drank alcohol.

You've got to have those people around you who are going to really support and encourage you to achieve the vision that you want.  And there are people out there who spend time with people like that they don't even like, you know, or are married to people that they don't even like!

So to find your tribe means find people with whom you can really be YOU with!

To find these people you may have to be willing to be lonely rather than going with any old group. Sit with yourself for a while.   

We know people who've said, well actually it's better to have a relationship with someone like it a significant other than to be alone.  Really? We don't agree with that statement.

Let's pick it apart. There’s this ability to be on your own and sometimes that’s when you're going through a transition period in your life. There may be people who are falling away, and there'll be a gap before people come in and you have to be willing to be in the gap, right?   

Because you know, there's probably some practices like meditation or some journaling or some work that helps you find out who you are. Take the time and some space before the next group of people turn up.

So when kids are studying at school, it's quite important to have an eye on who their friends group are. Because it’s the top five people that they spend time with determines what grades they're getting. So if your kids are hanging out with others who are interested in doing well and progressing their lives they'll be part of that tribe. But if they're hanging out with other people who are more interested in being at the skate park or listening to music and not worried about grades, that’s a telling sign for kids as well.

It’s interesting when you get into a workplace which is thriving and fabulous and really supports you and brings out the best and fits with you are really going to get, get ahead  Aren't you?

And the opposite too. Sometimes a person is recruited out of a certain organisation and they haven’t been so successful in the new roles even though they had all the skills, the talents and capability. What was missing was the support structure in the new role. They needed to bring their tribe with them because without their tribe, they actually floundered.

It's reassuring that, you know, you don't need every one to be on that same journey with you.

Audrie: You know, I look back in my life and there's been people that I was really close to, who I haven't seen for years be because at the time that was the right person to be with.  And then as we've both moved on and we've moved into different circles, and done different things.

Kristina: I was listening to Gabby Bernstein on a relationship thing. A woman asked if my partner's not growing with me, what do I need to do? Gabby was really clear.  For this relationship to really be successful in the long term, the partner needs to come on the journey with you. You both need to be willing to be growing in a direction because there's that combined vision.

And, and you need that with your friendships as well. You need that combined vision. We all want to have fun or we all want to do these adventures or we all want to, whatever it is. Whatever your goals are, you have to be on that same journey.

So many of us are looking more for approval from other people than actually that internal validation from within.

So start thinking about in your own relationships in your tribe.

• How much of what you are doing is so that the tribe will accept you and like you?
• How much is actually fulfilling you from the inside out?

And then maybe the other kind of thing that you could contemplate is the five people that you spend the most time with. Begin by writing those names down.

• What are they bringing to the relationship with you?
• What are their qualities and personal standards?
• Are they gong to serve you in your life’s path?
• What are you bringing to those five people?

Kristina: I remember doing an exercise thinking about five people that I admired. What were their qualities? Then how could I aspire to find more people like that in my own life? Or even start embodying those qualities, then guess what happens? You find those people, they get attracted to you. Those people turn up in your life. 

So go forth, find your tribe.

Namaste